My impending move...

I haven't posted in awhile, and felt it was probably time. (I've barely started and I'm already pulling the "Oh, I'll write about it tomorrow" haha). Today is not necessarily or rant, just thoughts.

As some of you know, I am officially moving back to El Paso, TX to rejoin my husband (when he gets back from his deployment of course) at his duty station Fort Bliss (believe me, the name is completely ironic) on February the 15th 2010. Sam should be arriving sometime after that. I am completely overjoyed, ecstatic, thrilled, and any other very positive word you can think of to have my husband home with me again after a very long year without him. A year doesn't always seem like such a long time, but when your spouse is halfway across the world in a dangerous area, they are the longest 365 days of your LIFE. However, I am admittedly not looking forward to the reality that we're going back to El Paso for 5 years... Moving alone, again, driving 1600 miles alone, again, is not something I'm particularly looking forward to either, but I will get through it just like I had done in the past. Oh the things you do for love, right?

El Paso. What can I say El Paso. To start, the commonly used nickname is "Hell Paso" and I can't particularly argue with it. It's dry, it's really rather barren, and it's dirty. "Well duh Lauren, aren't all deserts dirty" Yes, but not like El Paso. When you go out, even to just go grocery shopping, you WILL return with completely black feet from the dirt. The first 2 weeks you're there, you will be sick (swollen tonsils/adenoids, cough and runny nose) because Juarez (less than 5 minutes away) has no pollution laws. Crime is very high too. Most people (including myself before I moved there) are completely oblivious to what's going on in Juarez, because it's really very grim. No need to necessarily go to Africa to see slums, just drive along I-10W/I-25N if you're ever in the area and you'll see enough to make you wonder where you are. There is a huge drug problem, which brings on a lot of violence. So when people ask me how I can NOT be looking forward to going south during the winter, how can I really be complaining about a city that has palm trees, THAT is how. However, not ALL of El Paso is like that, because there really is always two sides. There ARE nice parts that Sam and I plan on taking advantage of since we discovered it shortly before he left.

Also, I supposed Sam in everything he does, whether it's necessarily what I had planned or not. He currently is planning on re-enlisting. The plan as it stands right now is that he'll re-sign up with ADA, we'll get another decent chunk of money as a bonus, but that's another 5 years in. We CHOSE El Paso again. Why, might you ask? Because when your options are Fort Sill, Oklahoma and Fort Bragg, North Carolina, you realize comparatively El Paso is sadly the best choice. We both decided this was the best choice. We're planning on having kids, we need reliable medical coverage and a stable income. Going into the civilian world is going to be a difficult enough transition for Sam I think, I don't want to make that more difficult making him have to worry about a new baby, especially without a degree. He does plan to take advantage of his G.I. Bill while he's in the Army and will be getting a degree and hopefully becoming an officer within the next few years. That's the tentative plan right now.

So then there's the big question: Will there still be a chance of a deployment? Absolutely. We should at least have a year, which is better than no guarantee. That thought absolutely terrifies me. I made it through this deployment in one piece, but I'm scared that piece will crumble during another year long deployment. Luckily Sam will no longer be VOLUNTEERING himself for deployments. He's learned his lesson on that one. I know I keep talking about this, but as challenging and awful as this deployment has been, Sam and I have really gained a lot. We have better communication skills than some even 30 year marriages can boast. We've learned how to keep romance alive during a 2 hour internet conversation. No hugging, no kissing, no candle light dinners, no snuggling, and no intimacy. The loss of those things alone have been the end of quite a few marriages these days. We've both learned to really trust the Lord, because at times that's honestly all we've had, and I have to tell you shedding everything and turning to the comfort of God is AMAZING. The amount of love we're capable of receiving from Him surprised even me. It's changed my life. I believed He existed before, but I can't live without His presence in my life anymore and I love it. Now I can't wait to experience that WITH my husband. I have high hopes for his return, but I have to admit I sometimes allow the shadow of that potential 2nd deployment to loom over my excitement. But, now at least I've learned that all I can really do is trust in God because He always comes through. Plus, by the time a 2nd deployment is around, we'll hopefully have a little Hipp running around to keep me distracted.... :)

Am I nervous for moving, re-enlistment, another deployment? You better believe it. Am I getting a little stressed? Yes, but not as stressed as I've been in the past. Do I know that God will provide and make a way for everything that's in our best interest? Absolutely.