Maturité

I've had a real issue lately with people not necessarily pushing opinions, but trying to passive aggressively state their opinion and make me realize why my opinion is wrong. Sam and I obviously got married young (more me than him). We were married when I was technically 19 (I say technically because I turned 20 two days later). Admittedly, it depends on where I am because in most Army bases I'm considered one of the "elderly" wives, but up here in Minnesota I get a "What? You're 21 and married??". I don't know why I let it get to me, but I do. Who are they to know what I think is best for me? How do they know I wasn't some super genius, graduated from college with a masters and earn more than they do? Who are they to determine MY maturity level? I do recognize that the majority of people my age are FAR from ready to be married. However, the majority of people my age have not been through all that I have been through (not that experience necessarily ensures maturity either).

I've always been more mature for my age. I essentially took care of my little sister (10 years younger than me) since the age of 12. I battled depression, low self esteem, eating disorders, you name it and I more than likely went through it. I experimented with drugs when I was young, and I turned my life around when I was young. I began a relationship with my now husband rather young and had a child with him very young. However, when I look back, although generally very negative things, I WAS mature enough to handle the situations to the point where at 17 I was the equivalency to a 21 year old. I consider Sam and I to be equals, I never think to myself "wow he's 2 1/2 years older than me and it definitely shows". I think anyone who actually knows me more than an acquaintance would agree. I do not regret getting married what so ever. I felt I was ready to get married, and I still hold to that. So why do people feel the need to tell me that they think I'm too young to be married? Not to mention Sam and I are planning on starting our family, I just can't wait to hear "WHAT, you're 22/23 (the time frame I would actually be having a baby) and you have a child??"

Which brings me to my next thought, what age is considered being a young mom? Comparatively I can understand using the term "young mom" when you look at a 22 year old vs. let's say a 42 year old. Once again, I think it's an issue of maturity. I know people at 20 that are more capable of taking care of another life than a 35 year old. God has rekindled a real desire in me to have a baby. My maternal instincts and desires to have a baby have admittedly been very high since having Isabelle and putting her up for adoption at 16. However, I knew very well then and until this point that Sam and I were by no means ready to have children (financially or emotionally). God has really been speaking to me about this. When Isabelle was born, even though she wasn't in my household, I felt this overwhelming sense of fulfillment and purpose. I had never felt closer to God than in that moment when that precious little girl was born. God re-established that feeling in my heart and really made it known that raising a family focused on Him IS my calling. Being a sinful human, I turned and pretended I didn't hear. It's not what I had planned (not that I necessarily planned on being out of school and married to a soldier), and it's not what my family expects of me, after all having a child wasn't in the plan until I was at least 25 with a degree and a career! So God, being the ever so patient Creator that He is, asked me why I was turning away from Him? Didn't I KNOW that He would take care of me? Has He ever proven me wrong? Having Isabelle most definitely was NOT in my plan for my life, but it has brought me more than I could ever have fathomed. So I realized, God, once again you're absolutely right. It may be hard, it may not be what I had planned, but it's my path and instead of putting my fingers in my ears, looking the other way and pretending I didn't hear Him, I need to embrace it because I KNOW He will provide for us and I KNOW things will turn out better than I'm expecting. THAT is how I know that we are ready for this. We're both extremely excited to begin setting out on this adventure together, and being in a much better place in our life most definitely helps. So, I'll say it again, who are they to tell me I'm too young?