Patience.

If asked, I would never claim that I am a patient person, although I would tell you that I can be more patient than some. I'm willing to let someone in front of me while driving, I'm willing to wait a little longer than expected without causing a fuss, and I'm willing to do things I consider courteous and patient. Little did I truly know how impatient I am! I've never considered myself spoiled because I never expected things, but I did generally get everything I wanted almost as soon as I wanted it. I rarely had to work for things, wait for things, especially things I wanted SO badly. Now that I'm confronted with something I want more than almost anything, I find myself horribly impatient and just flat out upset that I'm not just getting it. I get really disappointed with myself, yet I just can't help but want to scream, kick and whine about not getting what I want! It's especially hard when it seems like everyone else is getting the thing I want, even if they didn't necessarily want it. God is rarely early, but never late, right? If this is His will like I thought it was, He is MORE than capable of making it work out. So why do I still find myself doubting Him??? Why do I still worry if it's EVER going to happen? Why do I doubt that whatever plan He has chosen for me will be the best plan for me? Ahh the sinful nature of the human! Although I sunk into quite a depression this past weekend, I'm trying to come out of this as positive and hopeful as possible. As our theme was for today at VBS, God gives us hope!

Ultimately, I think this comes down to an issue I posted about before, which is letting go of control. I am most definitely a control freak. I need things to go how I want, when I want, exactly as I want. Little by little I have been letting go of things, but I still cling to that control for dear life. Luckily we have a God who loves us and has every intention of taking great care of us when we live following His will. With that, I leave you with a verse. It's a popular one, but it's one I look to frequently for reassurance :)

" So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10