Un jour de l'amour.

Today is Valentine's Day. A day meant to be surrounded in expressions of love. Taking that extra step to assure the people you love that you appreciate them and love their presence in your life. I'm a very romantic and passionate person, so you would think I love this day, right? WRONG. I do enjoy Valentine's Day as I enjoy most other holidays, but I think it's gone overboard (like most other holidays...). This seems to be a recurring theme for me at the moment, but the materialistic obsession with Valentine's presents is nauseating! Why is giving your wife diamonds the only true expression of love? Why do we have to buy chocolates, flowers, stuffed animals, jewelry and whatever else commercials declare a MUST to show your special someone that you love them? Sam was asked by a few soldiers what he got for Valentine's Day, he said "nothing..." and got a few shocked looks as if he would be in trouble with me. Would you like to know what I desire for Valentine's Day? I would like my husband to be in the same country, in the same state, in the same building or in the same ROOM. Do I care that he didn't order flowers online? No! Admittedly I'm a very practical person, and as stated in my previous post I have a hard time with gifts anyway. I've never expected much, just time with the one I love. Of course I would not turn away flowers or a special night out, but I don't EXPECT it. I wouldn't think Sam loves me any less just because he didn't buy me a diamond necklace. In fact I might actually be more upset that he spent the money on that instead of something we needed (like I said, practical). I think having a special day to really go out of your way for the one you love is never a bad thing. However, I think the entire year should be used to make your loved ones feel appreciated and loved, even just small tokens of affection collectively throughout the year. If we really need to have a holiday to do so, I think that's sad. (Yes I know this wasn't 'invented' for that reason, but that's what it has become).

I apologize for the generalization, but I think too many women expect too much, and they of course expect things to just happen. They expect their loved one to just KNOW what they're thinking, know what they want done, know what they want, etc. I'm by no means an expert in the field of men, but that's just NOT how it works! Men would so much rather be TOLD than have to jump through hoops trying to guess. And why is it always about ourselves? Why do we expect all the extravagant gifts and then get a card and something small for our loved one? Again, I know this is by no means everyone. These unrealistic and selfish expectations of being treated like a queen and served constantly are probably about 9 times out of 10 the cause of unhappiness and problems in a relationship. I'm telling you right now, when you stop thinking "me me me me me" and start doing even small things for your man, you will notice a difference. Even if you get nothing in return, eventually they do notice. After they notice, you'll notice they'll start doing more things for YOU too. This is hard for a lot of ladies, but God does ask us as wives to SERVE our husbands. When we submit and serve our husbands, I'm telling you the reward is great. I love serving Sam, I really do. I love him and I love taking care of him. It is my "love language" which probably helps... For example, he notices that I always keep a clean home and not only thanks me for it, but will generally go out of his way to do something for me without me ever asking or expecting something. Take the selfish motives out of things, follow God's word and I really feel you'll notice a difference.

Now don't get me wrong, I know there are a lot of unhealthy relationships out there. There are truly situations where a man (or even a woman) has absolutely no respect for their significant other. I do know the fear, pain and insecurity brought along with abuse. I know what results from remaining in an abusive relationship too. There are situations where leaving IS the only option, because I would never advocate someone staying in a dangerous situation. However, I do fully believe in doing everything possible to maintain a relationship (especially a marriage). I do not believe in divorce or remarriage. I don't judge those who are in those situations, but I personally do not believe in them. I very strongly believe marriage is a covenant with God, not something that can be broken because of how we feel. I strongly feel the men and women who are disrespectful or abusive are definitely not on a path with Christ. How could they be? Although I can't endorse necessarily staying or leaving (it's all situational and I do understand that), it's amazing what bringing Jesus into your life can do to fix that.

That's my relationship rant! I suspect my issues are partially due to the fact that I'm separated by THOUSANDS of miles from my husband on Valentine's Day, but this is really nothing new. I just felt like venting :)